Trying to give myself one full day off a week isn't working because I'm so used to subconsciously punishing myself every minute of every day for not having the energy to do all that I expect of myself, but last week after having found the strength to fight back against the 'HMRC' injustice, and in continuing to commit to my counselling sessions with T., my head was such a mash-up of thoughts, feelings and flashbacks, that something had to give and I had to take a week off performing as a musician on the London Underground. This helped, and I reminded myself that even though I'm not doing any ERP on my OCDs right now, I am still working hard on my recovery through committing to counselling to address past traumas which fuel my obsessive-compulsive and self-sabotaging behaviours.
My fairly new OCD; needing to seek reassurance from Jan that I won't have locked a cat in the toilet at the allotments, wasn't an issue just after I returned from my trip to Paris a few months ago (because I'd been able to widen my outlook and know that I'd never intentionally do such a thing, and what would a cat be doing in the toilet in the first place)?! At present, however, because my stress-levels are high (which in turn causes my PMT to be worse), I've gone back to checking about four times before leaving the toilet that there's no cat in there.
Since beginning to re-visit some of the traumas involving men from my past in counselling, my 'OCD' fear that when I'm alone anywhere with a man he will rape and attack and contaminate me, has intensified, but I'm hoping that once I've explored and laid to rest the emotions associated with these traumas, the fears will subside.